love and relationship advice

Dear Deb,

I was wondering what your opinion was on having male friends if one is married. For me it would be for emotional support and to do some fun things. I don't always get everything I need out of my marriage and I think this would keep me happier as a person.

Your thoughts?

Sue

Dear Sue,

Having male friends can be a problem if you are married. Although it is great to get a male's point of view on things, if you use a male friend for emotional support, you run the risk of one of you (or both of you) falling in love with the other. If he were to fall for you, he might even offer advice that would lead you to consider leaving your husband. My point is that things can get messy, to say the least. 

If you are having problems with your husband you might be very vulnerable and open to suggestion. Things could get blown out of proportion. Your judgment could get distorted. You may be tempted to give up what you hold dear now for the promise of something that may be no better. 

I've had several women write to me telling me how much sadness and pain they are in because they are married and in love with another man. Once you cross over that line, it's not so easy to turn back.

Deb