love and relationship advice

Dear Deb,

I am a happily married professional and a Mom, but lately I've been attracted to another man. Without going into detail, he's someone that I see once a month (because of the nature of his job). I only enjoyed his stimulating company and sense of humor until recently, when I had a romantic dream about him and now I can't get him out of my mind. We've started e-mailing each other, and the topics are friendly, profound, and soul-searching. I suspect from the tone of his messages, rich in possible double-meanings, that he may feel an attraction as well. (I know he is thinking about divorcing his wife, as the two of us were counseling another guy about not rushing into marriage and this fact came out.)Why? I'm not sure, but I get an incredible high from flirting with him. Although I have no intention of leaving my husband or destroying our family, I keep thinking if I could just have one passionate kiss, I could get him out of my system. (Plus he's transferring to the West Coast next month and I'll probably never see him again!) But would that be cheating? Just a kiss? I don't even know if we'd get the opportunity, but lately I've become a little obsessed with this idea. I'd just like to know that he feels the same. I will also be hosting a farewell party for him at my home, but he does not know this yet. I know this CAN work because I once had a crush after I got married (while my husband and I were working in different countries) and ended up kissing him and that was all I wanted, and after two days, I didn't even want to see him anymore!What should I do? I don't WANT to forget him and just concentrate on my marriage; this is too exciting. Is it necessarily THAT destructive?

Kay

Dear Kay.

You say if you could have one passionate kiss you could get him out of your system. Just because you were able to pull this off before doesn't mean you will be able to again. But let's assume that you are capable of having it be nothing more and no real threat to your marriage ... what about him? What if the one passionate kiss leaves him head over heals in love with you? Even though he is transferring to the West Coast won't you still be in e-mailing each other? I'm sure this is all very exciting and you really don't want to give up on your plan, but make sure you think of the possible consequences. How would you feel if your husband was kissing other women on occasion? How would you feel if one innocent kiss turned your whole world around?

Deb

Read more from Kay here.