love and relationship advice

Hi Deb,

I wanted to thank you for the advice you gave me. I just wanted to tell you that you are very wise. In the past week I have spoken to several people about my feelings of guilt about my fantasy, including my mother, my pastor, and my former secretary! The thing is, although they all told me I was treading on dangerous ground, playing with fire, and yes, even sinning(!) nobody convinced me that it was something I couldn't handle.
I even had a talk with my husband (as my pastor and friend suggested) told him about the dream and the attraction, (but left out the part about the kiss) and how I felt guilty about thinking about someone else, and that I think I'm desperately lonely since he normally works nights and weekends and I hardly ever see him.

You took a unique and different perspective, which caused me to explore a whole new side of the issue: HIS. I never even considered the possibility that HE might fall in love with ME, and then I would just be a heartless tease. And how could I be SURE I would feel nothing more for him? what kind of FRIEND would I be? You are absolutely right...if he were to keep e-mailing me flirtations from out West, and (yikes!) maybe even come back one day, that would scare me, as it also would if he were to say "Well, I'm not moving out West after all."

Since nothing has happened yet, I guess I'd better just cool it....try to enjoy the electricity but not admit it to him, and certainly not act on it.

This is my intention, but I won't see him till next weekend..... Help me be strong!

Thank you so much.

Kay

Dear Kay,

I'm happy to hear that you are thinking about the big picture. Just keep reminding yourself to stay strong and resist temptation.

Keep in touch and let us know how you are doing.

Deb

PS - here is a link to the original letter: http://deardeb.com/read-letters/12-is-just-a-kiss-cheating.html